u noe what. im back to my old habit. lazy. to me its feels like theres no more exam. no more stress. as u guys noe, maths paper 1 and 2 had finished so to me i can now enjoy for a short period of time. math do made me stress and worry which i could not even sleep at night, thinking how am i gg to do with my life if i fail my math.

4 more papers to go and im not worry at all. i jus could not figure out why. my plan today was to study my phy. but i jus cant. omg. this is getting worst. the last time i woke up early and slip late when i knew o-level was jus a few weeks time. lets say a few days time. tat was super worry and i did not hav any enuf slip. but now. i seem to relax.

so been sms-ing all my long time friends. lets say my best friends. asking them to tell the dat which they are not free. remind them to be co-operate with me so tat the plan to go raya outing will werk. i jus hate wen my plan did not werk. after all the hardwerk i put in, it jus turn into a disappointment to me.

mdrasah exams will end netx sunday. thank god. this yr. life isnt tat gd. tis yr i will be taking two exams. o-level which is damn so important to me and my mdrsah exam which i don even care at all. but i still study for it. haha. coz i hate to fail any of my exams. haha. who wants to fail right?

so will be looking for a job with sufi. hope we can find a job asap. im need some money for my grad nite clothes plus mayb a nikon camera. insyallah. && not to forget a psp slim. if can. wow. tat will need a huge amt of money. well who cares. last resrt. jus rob a bank.

And I hate how much I love you
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

at last both math paper 1 and 2 had finished, thank god. can relax a bit now. wow. been waiting for this time to come. well actuali i dont. haha. actuali i been waiting for the time tat all the stress from studying will be gone from this world. tat will be great then. but theres still fun. fun is inside everyone dictionary. izzit? only yourself noe. u gotta find it.

well one thing tat i hav not find is true love. someone to love and to be love by tat special someone. hurhur. so math paper 2 was ok today. can do most of the qns except tat if i was given more time, i can understand wat the qns want. gosh first time i can do math. i mean for paper 2. haha except on qns abt mensuration.
(volume of cylinder, are of circle..ect)

i really want my math to pass pretty badly. help me. haha. well no one can help me. its in the hands of the cambrigde markers. u guys better give me marks too even i got the ans wrong. i seriusly need math. haha.

had breakfast with my precious ija and roohee. roohee took her second math o-level together with us. and btw gd luck for the POA paper ok. right after paper, ija and i was like running to the macdonald pioneer mall. the time was like ard 10.55am. breakfast ends at 11am. so we ran like mad people (cam tk pernah mkn macdonald) and just in time to take our breakfast order..! yeah, we make it!!

4 more papers to go. yahoo! after tat can hooray2. yippee. been listening and singing the same song-hey delilah. omg. why i can remember the lyrics and not remember all the important factors and formula for my exams? why? anyone ans tat pls?

i hate cats. all bcoz it followed lil brother back home and had the cheek to step inside the hs. bad cat. im jus scared of animals. BIG animals and small too. but i wasnt afraid of camels. i did ride on it once. it was a bumpy ride uh. plus smelly.

&& brother i miss ya soooooo much. not to forget i miss him too. hehe. ssshh.

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night.
I miss you like hell.

mood for today: stress and mad plus worry.

taking a break right now. well actuali from jus i already took a break. gosh really mad at myself coz i did not noe wat to study for math. and it does make me damn mad coz tmr is math paper and right now im doing tis post which i shud not be doing at this time. argh. when can all this stress be gone?

actuali im quite worry for tmr paper. im jus scared tat i miss alot of marks and cud not do most of the qns like i did on my prelim paper. i seems to like give up hope on math but i kept telling myself to try and not give up but its just so hard. u noe wat ppl always said, its easy say than done. gosh.

&& tis few days i kept forgetting things fast. as in i don remember where i put my things or whether the things i want it to be done has be done or not. omg. am i old already? no way. im always young in peoples' eyes. hehe. and it happned tis morning. i was like duh. u will be like duh too if u finished reading wat im gonna share it with ya all.

so this morning went to religious as usual and i discovered tat my hp wasnt in my beg but i knew i put it inside my beg. so heck care abt it. thinking i can survive for half a morning w/o hp. but i cant coz i cant contact ppl especially cuzzin to tell her tat abt my lateness.

no choice went back and asked mum for my hp. and she cud not find it. guess wat. i found it in my beg all along. it was inside my beg. omg. dmmit. wish u cud jus tell me u were inside my beg all along. omg. aku dh tua ke?

.stupid.me.

.mummy.i.want.a.psp.slim.pls.

5 more papers to go. i thgt it will be over soon but i was wrong. omg. everyone had gone raya outing with friends. me? naah. still sitting at home, doing revision jus for tat stressful o-level. konperm lps o-level ramai bdk2 kua raya. tk bedek. but den by the time kuih2 dh abis. alah. tapi janji duit masih ader eh. haha. isk tk tahu malu.

ok gotta stop here. donnoe wat to write. hope i can write alot for tmr composition. haha. and all the best for the math and english paper tmr peeps. i mean for the ones who will be taking o-level this yr. Gd Luck.

how could this happen to me?

mood for today : disappointed.

lets recap. yesterday went to aunt hs again to study math. wasnt a gd time to study math coz did not hav time to study for hy which is today paper. simply put i screwd it up AGAIN. ija tag along ysterday and we were so like duh to take taxi back home from JP. haha. we jus like stupid ideas.

so today paper. everyone. i mean EVERYONE thgt germany will surely come out. so all did study germany with confidence include me. told them germany wont come out. and sbq will be on russia.

15 min b4 the paper start. kept revising back wat i jus study earlier on. and i cant simply remember it at all. so the sbq was abt russia. i was super happy giler. BUT then i wasted a lot of time on sbq. kept figuring out wat the cartoon wants to tell me. wish u cud jus tok to me baby, haha. chey.

seq NO GERMANY. but luckily hav japan. gosh. i did study abt it but again i don remember abt it. wish i cud jus be like flash, ran to my beg, read my notes and back to my seat again w/o teachers noticing me. hanis!! wake up, tis is reality not fantasy!

Your face is still etched in my head;I'm scared to let it go
-- Cause if I let you slip away
I will be on my own.

Congrats to By Definition and Fendi For being the champions in Live The Dream in grp and solo category.

gosh. super tired. cant really sleep well tis few days. whenever i close my eyes, i will be like thinking of studying. no sleeping. o-level man. haiz. whenever i study, i always wanna take a short nap but i cant. i did not noe tat o-level is so stressful and important.

last yr wen i was like doing my n-level, me and friends did not even bother abt it. we will be sitting outside the hall,talking abt not-important stuffs while others were like revising last minute. gosh. but den some make thru but some dont.

so yesterday paper was like duh. i knew i can do it coz the past few days i kept doing the same qns but den when i looked at the qns, i cud not do at all. i completely forget abt the ans. i was so mad tat i nearly cried. shud i cud jus see the future and know all the qns and then i will try my best to study tat particular qns.

but den life has to be this way. gotta accept it man. had my 1st math lesson with aunt yesterday. went to her hs straight after exam yesterday. was super tired and sleepy. we went thru a mock exam which i did in class. aunt was so like omg, why i did not do alot of easy qns and wasted alot of 1 mark qns.

told her tat i cant do the easy qns. only the difficult and complicated qns. haha. like real. and i was so careless tat i did not even noe tat 0 divide by 5 is 0. instead i put 5. tats how my whole werking and ans got wrong.

aunt even asked her son who is in a pri 2 level. and he even told me the ans. 0 divide the 5. then decided to ask him 0 divided by 2 and he gave the right ans at the same time saying tat o divided by any number is always 0. omg. so malu. seh. oh oh.

so went home by teksi and i was so stupid tat i forget abt the extra charge from 5pm-8pm. shud like went home after 8pm but den did not want to miss the live the dream. && i noticed tat the teksi metre wasnt on. so i act innocent and cute listening to my mp3. but den he noticed it and on the teksi metre. omg. shud jus on it when i was abt to reach home then. hehe.

hmm. will be g aunt hs again for another round of math lesson. ija will be tagging along mayb and she will be slightly late. and ija. all the best for today gy paper ok. hope u can do it with ease. as for me. woke up early morning and study my hy. my hands and finger are aching now.

im so super stress. any moment i cud jus breakdown and cry. jus cud not take tis stress. shud jus like continue my study in ITE after i get my n-level cert. tat way it wont be stressful but den everyone looked forward in me gg thru o-level when the fact is they donnoe how stressful can it be sitting for another major exams.

argh!!

so yesterday shazlin,diyanah,qurratu,berliana and friends came my hs for raya. cool. thanks for coming my hs for raya. and sowie tk layan sgt coz i donnoe wat to say and i don want u gerlz to see my small retarded eye. hehe.

ok. my eye is still not ok. how am i gonna take my first o-level paper with my small eye? haha. it does look bad u noe. isk. jahat nye lipas. gi kencing kat mata. tk tahu g toilet pe. haiz. it does feel irritating with a small eye and i cant really open wide. argh!. leceh.

went to study from 8am till 3pm at gekpoh mac with ija and feena. wow. tats early. so had breakfast first. super hungry. study chemistry the whole day. as for me been studying chemstry for the past 5 days. gosh. bgs tu. tapi tk msk otak. agrh! so damn worry for tmr paper. hope i can do it with ease.

been eating at lot at mac. one meal after another. haiz. gonna gain weight again. oh oh. everyone is enjoying now since their exams are over. promotion day is over too. congrats to those who get promoted to the next level. study even harder for next yr ok.

15 minutes ago, been chatting with aunt. she asked abt my preparations for o-level and she was suprised with my math prelim grade. gosh. so asked for her help as brother is in ocs at safti, dad and mum cant do math while lil brother is only in sec 1. so no other way, gotta ask for her help. math paper is jus abt 6 more days. oooooh nooooo!

will be meeting her tmr and thur. hope mum allow me to go aunt hs. been thinking alot lately. intend to not follow my parents go raya outing tis weekends coz next monday is my math paper. so my plan is to go aunt hs again tis weekends as tis week is the only chance i get to revise again my math.

for o-level i seem to like take step by step at a time. n-level u can do tat but for o-level, u cant. coz u gonna hav a difficult time squeezing and memorising all the factors in ur brain at 1 time, trust me ur brain really cant take it. it will explode! kabooom!!

so im jus lucky theres only 2 papers on each week. and some papers are in the afternoon. i still got my last chance to study in the morning. stress babe! like wat aunt said. if you don buck up on ur math, can forget abt gg to poly. gosh tat was harsh. all my dreams are gonna be destroy.

i really cant take disappointment. its gonna hurt me alot. k enuf. gonna stop here. rest. and continue my revision again. wish me luck! hope u wont see me again next yr in the same school ok. see me in home clothes gg to school. get wat i mean? haha. phm2 je.

how do i ask him abt it?
will he agree?
i wonder what will be his suprise for me?
will he ask me to be his________ on tat nite?

ok. not feeling tat gd. discovered yesterday tat i felt a small biji in my eye plus it was super pain when i rubbed my eye. and i was sure tat im gonna get a smaller eye than the other eye. it happened again. i mean AGAIN. haha. haiz. issit tat i had too much study tat i desrved it? chey. mcm phm. no lar. my mum said its all bcoz i did not wash my face and eyes properly. duh. haha.

having a slight headache now. no. actuali supr heavy headache. today is our o-level first paper. omg. time does pass so fast. well today is sci practical. its 15 marks. gosh. gotta pass both my chem n phy. practical can help us pass our sci paper if we do not screw it up today.

Happy 17th Bdae Suhailahku.

damn! i gained weight again. after 1 mth on diet (fasting), my stomach is gg big again. haha. well all becoz of the delicious food tat u get to eat once a yr. such as ketupat. haha. so first day was super tired coz the last check out was at 12am. its been a routine every yr. first day has always been bz and tired. but its ok. once a yr mah. duh.

brother bought a new digital camera. shared with him. forked out 100 bucks ONLY. pathetic coz nenny gave me 100 bucks early2 morning and tat money had to be given to mum coz of the camera thingy. haiz. so abg was like born yesterday kind. he kept taking a lot of pics. everywhere he go, he took pics. even when aunties gave abg green packet, he wanna took pic as an evidence tat he got money when actuali he wont get even a single cent as he is working. the rules is. no money for people who are working instead they hav to give us the little ones.

k enuf with the first day. but i had fun with aaliyah. she super cute and no respect for me. let me tell u why. shes only 1 yr 8 mths. so shes friendly with people. she knows how to count till ten. as in she only say the even number while we had to say the ood numbers.
not only tat, the fact is im her aunty and she has to call me cik hanis. so i was like playing with her and decided to leave her aside for the time being. and she was like bhind me saying. "hanis" in a cute voice but pelat. as in the way she pronouce was super funny. they way u peeps say my name is hanis but she say hanisH. with an extra H.

so its the second day today. same like the first day. bz, tired and boring actuali. so gonna go to bed soon. lazy to lyn all the tetamu out there as i don even noe them. all my nenek nye sedare. sape kenal seh. haha. && abg has gone back to SAFTI. haiya. why no holiday for him. gonna be boring without him during this raya outing with famili.

but wat i like is tat he trust me to keep n jaga the camera. yahoo! can bring anywhere i want. school? yeah. take alot of pics. as u noe i got a share in it. scooby doo! haha. dammit! i forget to reply his msg. all bcoz of my buziness lyn tetamu. guess he has slip. sssh! don tell who. hes only a friend.

ok peeps. enjoy ur raya ok! jgn lupa dtg umah!

still waiting.
wish u were mine.

1 MORE DAY TO RAYA.

been playing the computer since dad left for werk. hehe. well honestly kinda miss the computer but den at the same time, im sick of it too coz i donnoe wat to do when i switch on the computer. wat website to go? wat game shud i play? sign in also no one is online coz of exams. except for some of my friends. gosh.

so was super tired today. talked alot. had to entertain tat 'barbecued darren'. ever since hes back to school, hes been disturbing me and making me irritated with all his lame jokes and asking me some translation for malay werds. argh! enuf! super tired coz of him. isk!

today, skol was boring AGAIN. useless. its better not to go to skol after prelim. the programme tat mrs mano introduced are so like duh. no teacher to teach us as wat i said b4, they had their own classes to teach. all we did everyday was do other school papers. omg. super boring. school is not like the usual anymore.

so kelly & gang plus ija plan not to come to school tmr instead go study outside. well they asked me along but den wat do i hav to tell my parents abt it. they gonna disagree with it. i know. no matter wat i say, they wont listen. but still, gg to school is the same as staying at home doing ur own revision. i mean as usual, come to school like normal time like the others did and all we do in class was waste of time. dammit!

so tonight gonna talk to my parents abt it. talk to mum first. give it a try even though i know it wont werk as dad is the head of the house. argh! why must life be this way? why? so as usual tonight there will be tuition, another wasted night. we did not even study at all. do papers tat they give us and only ask qns when needed. after tat balik umah mkn again!

waste money! been browsing abt the grad nite theme tis yr. red carpet. as in celebrities on red carpet. oops. nyna jgn mrh. still donnoe wat to wear. help me!

till here,
bye.
take care.

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