today is the last day of 2007. 2007 will be over in jus a few hrs. jus cant wait. last yr when it was the last day of 2007, i will be like sleeping over my cuzzin hs, celebrating our last momeny together. but this yr, friends wanted to celebrate it together but pity me, i cant stay out late. gonna miss those moments.



7. someone to love and to be loved

they make me look like a fool tonite.
i really look like an idiot.
i jus cant take it.

i jus hate the 'mats'.
&& nephews and nieces, u all had made a BIG mistakes
for making me look like a fool in the bus.
my best friend and her guy was there too.
i am soo super pissed off abt it.

argh!

&& im so in love with one of the jonas brothers.

his name is joseph adam jonas a.k.a joe jonas.

S.O.S is my favourite song from the jonas brothers.

looking forward for the new movie camp rock and J.O.N.A.S which will be release in 2008 because hes acting in it. ~weee~

Dear Santa,

Can i have a nikon camera this christmas? I've been a good girl this christmas. Please Santa. Make my wish come true. I will wait for your gift tonight. HEHE. && Santa, MERRY CHRISTMAS !
:)

&& btw brother nearly burnt the whole kitchen this christmas. He was so careless that he did not know that the fire is on, leaving the oil to cook by itself while he happily chatting on the phone. what a christmas, brother. and santa, no gift for brother ok.

it seems like the month of december is gonna be pretty gd and not so boring for me i guess. well yesterday was hari raya haji. im so glad that i get to meet wif my nieces and nephews before i went to dad's mum house like usual. && im so young to be call "cik" hanis.

i was wrong afterall. when asian idol was introduced and i heard hady mirdza is representing singapore, i knew he cant win after i saw all other idols sang. to me, mike from indonesia is gd than him. but last night the shocking results do made me realised that im proud to be a sinagporeans. yahoo.

so saturday went to ecp for camping with cousins and aunts. it was raining heavily but we still go for it. as usual we slept late while the adults slept early. i decided to join the game tat the boys were playing. to me it was the painful game i ever play. why do i say painful? u will know soon.

place the cards on the floor, turn all over and mixed all together (the same way u mixed the tiles when u playing mahjong) . choose one of the cards w/o looking at it & place it onto ur forehead so that everyone can see your card and u can see everyone cards.

you will not know your own card. if anyone card is smaller than the rest, the person have to drink as many cups of water that the rest have bet on it. if many people are playing the game, the maximum amt of water to bet on is 1/2 small cup or u can say no cup if u don want to bet on it.

so by looking at everyone cards, u hav to bet the amt of water so that the loser can know how many cups must the loser have drink. && i learn that if we drink toooo much water, i mean really too much water, we tend to vomit and our stomach will feel bloated.

trust me. i had to drink 4 cups in the first game round and 3 cups in the second round. seriusly i cant take it and i did vomit out all the food and water. but i do pity brother. luck wasnt with him throughout the game as he was one the permanent loser in the game and had to drink sooo many cups of water. haha :)

Hari raya haji is coming. the plan abt the bowling match is still on but theres a change. there will be no family match anymore since one of my aunts is shortage of members. everyone will be grp randomly as in lucky draw thingy.

may the best grp wins.

i've got so much left to say.

2005. the year duhz crew was introduced by the five of us. we were only 15 years old. we were so close that we share our laughters and tears together. i still remembered theres a time i did cry because duhz crew are drfting apart. seriusly i cant live without them at that times. they were my everyting. i noe this sound mushy but its true. i really loves them and how i wish we five are sisters in real life.

so let me introduce you to duhz crew a.k.a H-A-N-I-S

Shes the only one who willings to continue her five years with me. Although she had decided tat she wants to continue her studies in ITE, but in the end she did make a right choice but staying in BLSS for another one year. To me she is really a independent girl. She is an easy go lucky girl. but when she gets angry, don ever mess up with her. dont u say i did not warn you. haha. i jus feel tat shes the only one tat closes to me. mayb becoz we spent our 5 yrs together. right now i jus wanna wish ya all the best in everything you do especially achieving your dreams.


Let say shes always there for duhz crew whenever they need her. shes the clown. she never fails to cheer the rest whenever they are feeling down. although she never fails to cheer them up, shes also did alot of mistakes by her harsh words. shes taking tis opportunity to say sorry to them if she ever made any mistakes or hurt any of their feelings. *sorry* right now, shes prayin hard for her o-level results so that she will hav a better life in future. all best in becoming a photographer which is her dream.


Although we are not in the same stream when we were in secondary school or came from different primary school, im so lucky to hav you as one of us. i really do. to me she really understand me coz whenever im not ok, she will know it. she always lend her ears for me to pour out my problems to her. seriusly i owe her big time. and im so sorry if at times im not there for u when u need a shoulder to cry on. overall shes the best. shes like a mother to me coz like i say she really understand us and care for us like every mother do. Gd luck in everything u do and dont ever give up ok.



As for her i donnoe if she made a right choice by gg to ITE instead of taking her o-level this yr. but im glad she is pursuing her dream of becoming a nurse. shes in ITE now, taking a nursing course which she dream of becoming one. she can be stubborn and complicated at times. complicated as in her relationship. but shes always a victims for my prank and sometimes i did hurt her. *sorry* life for her had always be ups and downs but she face it strongly. so gd luck and i hope to see u in ur nurse uniform and be the one who gonna take care of us in future aite.


Shes always the one that made us worry each and every day. honestly she is really stubborn at all times. but the best part of her is tat she do not get angry easily. wait a minute, she do not get angry at all eventhough shes being bully. isnt tat great? haha. but i pity her alot coz she had sooo many sufferings in her life. although shes not well at times, she always put a smile on her face but i know inside her, shes suffering. but sometimes i really dont know wat to do with her. haha. so all the best ok in ur future.

BORED!

ok. my sony ericsson hp is giving problems. i jus donnoe why. firstly i can charge it. then i decided to connect it to my hp to charge it. but then this time i jus plucked out the wire and the battery logo in my hp keep showing tat it was charging.

so i knew my hp is not werking anymore, so decided to off my hp and guess wat i cant on it back. dammit. so im using mum's old hp. its nokia. im back to nokia i guess. how i wish i cud buy a new hp now. haha.

today is another boring day for me. been sleeping damn late and waking up pretty late too. i guess it will be my all-day routine till i get my O-level results uh. hehe. i jus cant stop thinking abt the time im werking at pizza hut. sometimes i do feel guilty thinking abt it.

well every job have its difficulties. we jus hav to face it strongly. cousin did tell me werking at coffeebean is very tough but she and her friends are being patient abt it and they face it strongly each day they go to werk.

i do envy them. really. but it seems tat im jus too weak to face it alone. mayb i was born not to werk but to slack ard i guess and it does look bad u noe. haha. without job, u hav no income and u cant support urself.

so hari raya haji this yr gonna be different. we gonna have a bowling family match at ecp. wait a min? ecp? wcp? anywhere. haha. so we already booked 5 lanes. so anyone free this dec? wanna go bowling? i need to practice man! my famili hav to win no matter what! haha

i hate that i love you.
coz it hurts me more thinking bout you.
im slowly getting over you, boy.

(lyrics for my blog song)

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go
as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close
and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love,
but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back,
but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close
and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back

I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have
one more chance tonight
One more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself
with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone
it's not getting me very far
I look around my room
and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close
and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back,
but I know you did

And I didn't mean to
meet you then we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you
chills the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back
but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back
'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

ever since im back from chalet, i lost track of the days. i mean can u believe i did not even know today was friday till grandma's friend called to ask for everyone.

i mean everyone was out today and when she asked abt dad, all i can said was he went out and she asked me where did my dad go.

the she said my dad went masjid izzit? for the friday prayers? den i was like? hmm. oh yah. gosh can u believe it. i don even know wat day is today as if i jus wake up from a coma.

so since i quit my job, my life has been boring. donno if i regret quitting the job coz right now i got another part time job which do not hav any salary and the best part i can hav a break as long as i want.

well i had to clean the house, fold the clothes, make sure every room is clean and tidy especially my brother's room & not to forget i hav to learn to cook.

&& i donnoe if i can go out again. dammit. mum has no changed alot since i came back from my 3 days chalet. haha. well shes kept saying "kau dh tk keje, kau jgn harap leh kua. ddk umah, lipat baju, masak nasi" *sigh*

luckily cousins lend me his guitar and all i can do wif it is to learn some guitar chords and play some songs out of the chords tat i learn from youtube.

my wish for tis yr after o-level was to take up a guitar lesson but it seems like mum dont quite like the idea. no only guitar lesson, i also wanna take up a photography lesson and mum thinks im joking and she said i will be wasting money.

why cant parents fulfill their children's dreams. mayb to them we are not mature yet. ni semua cita2 kita je and they seems not to take it seriusly.

well told qurratu the other time when we were on the beach tat i wanna become a traveller who travels ard the world, together with her camera and take alot of beautiful pictures. this dream will nvr change.

& when u forget tat promise
or tat look u always have whenever u wif her,
well thats when i hate you.

3 dec (monday)
check in. had lunch. mum cooked ayam redang for them. watched dvds. afternoon went cycling. it was fun but super tired. uphill and downhill.

the best part was the downhill. && i found the short cut to our chalet. haha. thanks to me we don hav to go the longer route.

and guess wat. my friends and i found where qurratu stayed. yahoo! although it was dark and scary at the alley and the scariest part was the barking dog. wtf. so we were like.."qurratu! qurratu! " and her mum was washing her car and she was like looking us in a weird way and luckily i knew her mum.

well qurratu was suprised when we came. sorry eh for the suprise visit. dinner was in a mess. can u imagine 8 ppl were cooking and only 2 people had to do washing and i was one of them. i mean the washing.

4 dec (tue)
no breakfast. everyone was super hungry. went out with qurratu. jus the two of us sitting on the water breaker. seriusly i had fun although we only sit and enjoy the breeze. we did talked alot actuali.

since theres no breakfast. went elias mall to buy some break by foot. luckily theres prima deli. my fav bread and cake shop ever. coz theres waffle!!!haha.

cook lunch instead. luckily theres feena and maan to cook. seriusly it was the best meal during our chalet.

the june chalet was bad actuali. we felt tat we were playing the survivor game. but this time it was different coz we had two chefs. hehe. our activities on the 2nd day was the water bomb.

we did play water bomb. everyone were wet and since plastic for the water bomb had ran out, we used the water hose and some buckets. we flood the grass patch jus outside our chalet. haha. we really had fun. i really cant describe the happiness in us.

night time it was bbq. only 4 teachers turned up but its ok. we did talk alot and teachers were super cool. we joked and played together. i mean played mahjong. gonna miss them. :(

5 dec (wed)
last day. check out at 12.00pm. had to wait for maan cousin for the second shift. we had a bad day actuali coz it was raining.

went home straight while the rest went for breakfast and play pool at arena. let say we all poolmates or mayb pool freaks. i did not follow coz i had no more $$$. i need a job asap to pay the pizza hut.

well i decided to quit and de bad news i had to pay for the pants which i already alter plus the typhoid i took. parents already knew why i wanna quit. its all becoz of the fucking malay manager! i hate ya!

&& photos will be upload soon ok. stay tuned.

i jus hate you whenever u wif her.
it seems tat i cant get over u.
i need time.

chalet starts tmr. yahoo! but there will be more guys staying over than gerlz. gosh will the gerlz be safe? haha. well we trust the guys although sometimes in class the guys are so dirty minded. well we ok with it. i mean not the physical part. jus talking abt it. haha.

honestly we watched american pie the other time. omg. it was disgusting. sssh. don tell anyone. well as we grow older we tend to be mature and tink in a mature way. u noe wat i mean. haha. well everyone will go through it one day. don be shy. haha.

so all the stuffs are ready and meeting everyone tmr at control station. its gonna be a loooong journey to pasir ris. gonna bring something to entertain me. wait a minute. i don hav anything to entertain myself excpet my stupid lame jokes. dammit. anyone can lend me their psp? hehe.

&& brother still wont give me the camera. *furb* he said he represent his platoon to like in charge of the photos. well guess wat im also need the camera for the 3 days chalet and im in charge for the photo taking too. u r so unfair!

werk today is so like fuck. ooops. sowie for the harsh word. the malay manager is so like duh. she taught me how to read the chart and do the pizza. i tried to make it and i did forget abt some of it and im so damn slow. and she was like " u donnoe how to read chart ah? r u interested in werkiing here?" ( duh. im not interested in the 1st place )

and she released me early. well thank god. i jus don like ur fucking attitude. i prefer mira to be the manager although shes like one yr younger than me. shes damn patient and fun to be with i shud said. she taught me patiently.

2 werds for u, manager. I QUIT ! even though i don get the salary pay who cares. i will be glad tat i don have to go back there. argh!

i gotta find who i really am.

was sick yesterday and mum had the cheek to laugh at me. well it was my first day at werk on last thursday. went home damn late and had little slip. and yesterday went for typhoid and it made me go crazy abt it. i was so scared to go for it tat i had to bring along my mum. haha.

the moment the doctor brought out the injection needle, i was like omg, pls don do it. i beg u. i kept staring at it. luckily the doctor was handsome so pretend to be strong. chey. and it wasnt pain at all. can i hav another shot? haha. but the side effects was super pain.

my arm felt numb and was damn careful with it. cant really raise my arm or move abt. so in the end put a hot towel over it. stupid f&b. hate getting f&b job. shud jus rejected the offer and look for another jobs which do not require typhoid.

ok tmr i hav to werk 11pm-4pm. i hope tmr time passes so fast so tat i can go home early. will be gg with dad as dad werk in the morning too. cousins and aunts will be suprised tat im werking with dad as they knew im not in a gd terms with dad since donnoe when. haha. well wat to do. since we werk together. i need him to bring me to werk and back home.

went marketing with friends for chalet stuffs. kecoh siul. but fun. went sheng siong early morning and we went crazy abt remembering what stuffs to buy as i lost the list. sorry. well actuali did not lost it. jus found it in my beg. stupid. haha

so chalet will be on mon till wed. some teachers will be cuming on tue for bbq. hope they hav fun there coz we got a suprise for mdm shafie. shes the prim target for our water bomb activities. ssshh. don tell anyone. && theres more activities too. will upload pics when i get back. so stay tuned ok. haha.

ok. lil brother will be staying in school tonite as tmr the band grp hav to perform for the runners tat take place at ECP. he complaint alot abt the schdule saying tat tonite they will be sleeping at 11pm and had to wake up at 3am tmr morning. wth. im gonna bet ya they gonna be damn tired.

&& one more thing. so damn frustrated with brother. keep wanting to use the camera when hes doing his officer course in safti. elo!? i got a share in it too and i need it for my chalet. gosh. so like duh.

Now I know your not a fairytale
& dreams were meant for sleeping.

FINA | NYNA | IRAA | AYULYSA | ATIQAH | KELLY | LUQMAAN | MICHELLE | SERENE | FATIN | JUN | MUSYA | QURRATU | RAFFIAN | SHAZLIN | BERLIANA | FAEZAH | AMAN | DANIAL | FADILAH | EEJAH | HAMIZAN | NADEEYA | SHIKIN | RAFIDAH | SANDY | SAIFUL | SUHAILA | MARISSA | YUSREE |